10 Signs It's Time to Cut a Toxic Person Out of Your Life - The Better You

We all like to believe the best of people, Unfortunately that can get us in trouble sometimes. Toxic people do exist and chances are we've met one or two. Sometimes they might not realize they are causing harm to others. While on other occasions they are fully aware of the power they hold over other people and actively intend to do harm. Toxic people are dangerous. They not only cause an extreme stress to slow down your progress, but also can be a massive drain on your time and happiness. 

Many of us might have experienced having that one fake friend who always point out your flaws, no matter what you do and how you look. Or you might have a partner or family member who makes you feel guilty and play the victim card while the mistake is theirs. The reason behind their behavior is less important than the damage they cause.  Although completely cutting off all communications with them is the simplest solution to avoid the negative effects to toxic people's behavior, it is not always the most practical. The road from a toxic relationship to a healthy one is not an easy one. I'm going to be honest, most people won't do it. Fortunately there are warning signs you can look for to see if the  person you're dealing with is a toxic person.

1. Toxic people play the victim.

Most of us feel sad or unhappy every once in a while, things happen and sometimes we just want to feel sad about it. But sooner or later we snap out of it and focus on finding solutions. Other people feel like they're victimised constantly. They love to blame others for their own problems, and they're incapable of taking any personal responsibility for their actions or emotions. They thrive on sympathy and attention, and would rather mope around than work to solve their problems. They prey on your feelings of empathy and goodwill to see how much money, time and energy they can take from you. Have you ever been in a situation where you believed someone owe you an apology but by the end of the conversation you ended up apologizing? 

2. The Gossip.

"Great minds discuss ideas, average ones discuss events, and small minds discuss people."                                               -Eleanor Roosevelt

Gossipers derive pleasure from other  people's misfortunes. It might be fun to peer into somebody else's personal or professional false step at first, but over time, it gets tiring, makes you feel gross, and hurts other people. There are too many positives out there and too much to learn from interesting people to waste your time talking about the misfortune of others.

3. They are Self-Absorbed.

Self-Absorbed people bring you down through the impassionate distance they maintain from other people. You can usually tell when you're hanging around self-absorbed people because you start to feel completely alone. This happens because as far as they're concerned, there's no point in having a real connection between them and anyone else. You're merely a tool used to build their self-esteem.

4. The manipulator.

Manipulators suck time and energy out of your life under the false appearance of friendship. They can be tricky to deal with because they treat you like a friend. They know what you like, what makes you happy, and what you think is funny, but the difference is that they use this information as part of a hidden agenda. Manipulators always want something from you, and if you look back on your relationships with them, it's all take, take, take, with little or no giving. They'll do anything to win you over just so they can work you over.

5. People who judge.

Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what isn't cool. They have a way of taking the thing you're most passionate about and making you feel bad about it. Instead of encouraging and appreciating other people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others. Judgmental people suppress your desire to be a passionate, expressive person, so you're best off cutting them and being yourself.

6. The Arrogant.

Arrogant people are a waste of your time because they see everything you do as a personal challenge. Arrogance is false confidence, and it always masks major insecurities. They respond to genuine and even polite challenges with anger. They are bullies that attempt to humiliate and intimidate those who do not agree with their opinions. They like to talk about themselves, A lot. They brag about their achievements, skills and abilities, and often ignore those around them.

7. They'll make you prove yourself to them.

They'll regularly put you in a position where you have to choose between them and something else - and you'll always feel obliged to choose them. 

8. They never apologise.

They'll lie before they ever apologise, so there's no point arguing. They'll twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that you'll believe their nonsense though you know the truth. You don't need an apology to move forward. Just move on without them. Don't surrender yourself to a false show. You're are more than that and better off without them.

9. They leave the conversation undone.

They wont pick up their phone, They don't answer texts. You might find yourself playing the conversation or argument over and over in your head, guessing about the status of the relationship, wondering what you've done to upset them, or whether they're dead, alive or just ignoring you. People who care about you won't let you go on feeling rubbish without attempting to sort it out. 

10. They'll use non-toxic words with toxic tone.

The message might be innocent enough but the tone conveys so much more. They seem like they are helping you but their actual intention can be worse or even more. You'll know it once it's done and the result of your actions to their words is seen.

 Knowing the favourite go-to's for toxic people will sharpen you, making the manipulations easier to spot and easier to name. More importantly, if you know the characteristic signs of a toxic people, you'll have a better chance of stopping yourself before you tie yourself in double knots trying to please them.

Some people can't be pleased and some people won't be good for you - and many times that will have nothing to do with you. You can always say NO to unnecessary crazy. Be confident and your own way will make you shine. You don't need anyone's approval but remember if someone's working so hard to manipulate you, it's probably because they need yours. You don't always have to give it but if you do, don't let the cost be too high.