5 Happiness Tips for People Who Have Been Hurt

 

Every person gets hurt. Let's be honest, it's part of human life experience. All of us have been abused, abandoned, betrayed at some time in our lives. Generally people have a habit of dwelling on things that hurt or made them feel sad. It doesn't help you at all you know! It makes your life no better, but makes it so worse than it already. If you're reading this, I know you have a story, I know you have something in your life that has caused you some kind of mental and emotional distress- that part is inevitable. Sometimes it's easy to shake those feelings off, while other times we just cannot seem to let them go. What we do beyond that pain is really what you should talk about because believe it or not that's where our choice comes in.

So before we dive into the tips on how to get a little bit tougher with that emotional side and find our happiness, Let us first know about what is pain and suffering. There's an old quote which says,

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

 ~Buddha 

This statement is a fundamental piece, because it allows us to begin to take mental and emotional responsibility for how we think and feel. Pain is part of our life. It does not have to rule your life. While suffering, is not part of life. We do it to ourselves. Now while acknowledging of our pasts and our presents or futures the truth is pain is inevitable. Everybody is going to experience some kind of physical, mental or emotional pain throughout of their life. But suffering happens when we dwell on that, it actually comes from you. That destroys our self-worth, our self-esteem and we begin to feel worthless or not enough or sad, that's suffering. So the suffering is the part that we want to begin to heal. But I personally believe that prevention is better than cure. 

Down below I'm going to list a few things you should try that may help you to come out of the pain before it turns into suffering and may lead you to a better and happy life.

1.  Forgive yourself.

Forgiving ourselves isn't always easy, because many people blame and judge themselves. The sooner you can make peace with yourself, the sooner you can move to the next phase of Recovery. May be you didn't do anything wrong but you blame yourself. Or maybe you played a role in creating your current situation. Regardless of what happened, you need to realize that what you did is not who you are. 

Blaming and hating yourself makes the treatment process harder. Forgiving yourself is similar to loving yourself, it might be scary for sure but it can also be uplifting and liberating.

2.Focus on the things that makes you happy.

You don't have to focus on completely letting go of your pain forever, you just have to make room for joy right now. Focus on the things that makes you happy, feel love, and you will experience that love and happiness coming back to you- multiplied. Start simple. Feel happiness inside and you will attract more happiness to your life. There are so many beautiful things around us, we just need to see them, such as- sun, blossoming trees, flowers?, beautiful sky and more. You see it daily and you don't pay attention for it, so you don't appreciate it and you don't enjoy it. So many beautiful things around us. All of them are free, you don't need to pay for it. Just enjoy.

Don't think about the rest of the days, that's a massive burden to carry-- haven't you hurt enough? Just focus on now, and allow yourself a little peace. 

3. Stop giving them permission!

No one can hurt you without your permission, Nobody can mentally or emotionally hurt you without your permission. Start now to take back your power, start now to stop giving permission to anyone to hurt you. Lean into your source and remember who you really are. Their words cannot touch you if you remember who you are and know that you are loved, also you are safe and fully supported. Throw away the hurt that already dwells in your hear. Feel yourself free and heal.

"Nobody can hurt me without my permission."

~Mahatma Gandhi 

 

4. Set Boundaries. 

Having boundaries requires a level of self-confidence, it requires us to be willing to be resolved ourselves to assert that boundary. You must learn to be okay with them, not being okay; and being okay with them not liking us. It is so important for us to begin to set boundaries and recognize that boundaries are unique to you. The truth is that we have different boundaries based on our own personal experiences, values and preferences. So we need to know that boundaries are the beginning to teach other people how to engage and interact with us. You are the one who can set limits to other people for hurting you. Boundaries protect you and protecting yourself means protecting your happiness. 

"Daring to set boundaries is all about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others."

As I mentioned, boundaries come from a place of self-confidence, of you willing to love yourself enough to be able to teach and train others even win. 

5. Smile more.

Even if you have to force it for a while, It will still make you happier. It's better to smile instead of telling the story again and again. Smiling for others will make them smile and it'll make you want to smile even more because you found a way to put a smile on someone else's face!

Smile! Smile! Smile!

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Everyone deserves to feel happy. Everyone deserves a little peace. One more thing we all have in common: we can only provide those things for ourselves.